I love this time of the year, it’s a time of setting new years resolutions, new goals, and exciting plans for the year to come.
As I look back on the year that is about to end, the changes that happened during the year have been mindblowing.
The year started with the exciting plans of moving to Queensland with my partner, from Country Victoria, and settling into our country home on 5 acres. This has been a dream of mine for ages, to live in a cottage in the country. Fast forward a few months and I was packing up and leaving that beautiful area, with only what I could fit in the car. I was discarded, by who I now know is a narcissist. He decided I had served my purpose and became very nasty and I was not putting up with that.
I miss our little house and our visiting kangaroos and the quiet location, but I certainly don’t miss him. I enjoyed a couple of months in Melbourne, catching up with all my friends and family. I have had limited contact with the last couple of years. Partly Covid, but mainly the EX. Looking back the red flags were there. I had no idea what a Narcissist was, I do now!! Melbourne was great, but I couldn’t live there again, it was no longer home for me, so Tasmania, where I grew up, was the place to be.
I have, with the help from family, renovated an old shed on Mum & dads block as a bedsit for me and it has given me the independence I crave, yet still close by for my elderly parents. Perfect solution. I have decorated my space, just the way I like, and no one to criticizse me or make fun of the quirky things I do.
Tassie Life is great and it is certainly different. weather is more moderate and less extreme than Victorian weather. So a whole new wardrobe – thank goodness for op shops as I left the relationship with $20 in my purse, Financial abuse was another thing I left behind.
I started a cleaning business, to bring in some money when I got to Tassie. I could have easily signed up for a carers pension, as Dad has been diagnosed with MND, but that was not an option, as, at 59, I need to think about my financial future. It has been a busy few months, getting the room finished, which it is now and I am starting to get back on my feet financially.
The changes keep coming
I started an online business in personal development, a couple of years ago, which I had enjoyed building, however, once I got to Tassie, I couldn’t get back into it, my ex is part of the business, and energetically he is still part of it. It was costing me money every month, almost as much as my car payment. So I made the decision, to walk away from that business, and do something different, where there was no connection to the EX.
I have been in direct selling, for most of my working life, and qualified for many overseas trips and bought a house and new cars over that time. Due to not getting the right financial advice and not planning for the future – I am not set up the way I should be. So I decided the answer is to get back into what I know with a new company. As I want to buy my own home, a country cottage, this time with my name on the title. I never want to be at the mercy of landlords and the uncertainty of renting. I also have a car in my ex’s name and mine, so that has to go too. I have also missed traveling and so looking forward to a new journey, with a beautiful company, and anti-aging hair & skincare products. I am building a team of like-minded women who are like me, looking for financial stability.
Being financially secure is huge for me, I am not interested in flashy things. I am practical and want to have the income to live comfortably, be able to help my kids and parents out, and not rely on government assistance ever!! So many women in their 50s & 60s are living in precarious situations, on the verge of homelessness and having no job prospects, as too old. It’s scary and also our superannuation is also nonexistent. I have a solution to help women get back on track and change their futures. Direct Selling changed my life many years ago and I am forever grateful. Reach out if you want to talk more about what I am doing.
I am excited about my new journey as I close this year out. It is a year, that will go down as the most challenging year ever, but also the year that has taught me the most lessons. I am resilient, I have bounced back from narcissistic abuse, and I am happier, healthier, and focused on creating a whole new future.
Tasmania was never a place I was ever going to move back to, but I am so glad I did. It is a lovely peaceful, healing place, and so very beautiful.
I have reconnected with friends from my school days and made lovely new friends and strengthened other relationships. Time with my mum and dad is very precious, so I am enjoying this time with them, and being able to help them out in their later years is a gift.
I am no longer cleaning as that was trading time for $$$ and not going to help me to buy a home. I am now fully focused on building my direct selling business and also having time to help out Mum & Dad as they need it. I choose how I spend my time and that is hugely important to me. Every day is a gift and I plan to enjoy it.
I have set my goals and put plans in place and I am so ready to kick off 2023 next week and create a completely new future. In the meantime, I am enjoying this time with my family. My youngest grandson and his mum & dad, who are visiting from Melbourne, and some downtime.
Sometimes I feel less than great. Low, grouchy, fed-up, and bored are all words you could use to describe what I’m like on those days and I’m probably not the best company. The thing is, days like those are part of the deal with being human – it’s not an elective. There will always be off days, and that’s okay.
But what happens when you get a whole string of those off-days, maybe lasting weeks, months, or even years? Too many of us say that we’re in a rut, feel stuck, fed-up, or bored, and admit that we don’t want things to be that way, but we don’t know what to do to change. That’s the problem, when you’re in a rut, you don’t have the energy or motivation to change things for the better, and it’s tough to find the insight or resources you need to make that jump.
Here are five fun and easy ways you can use right now to climb, or better yet, leap, out of the rut and start to get something better for yourself.
1. Do Something Differently
Life tends to run smoothly when we establish systems and routines for things, but the problem comes when things run too smoothly and we become blinded to any ideas or choices that sit outside of our routine. All the stuff we do every day becomes the norm, running on auto-pilot, and it becomes our whole world.
Start with making one or two simple changes to your day – be it at breakfast time, your radio station, gym routine, route to work, lunch routine, etc. Don’t worry about what the changes are or whether they’re right or wrong, just make a couple of simple choices that will serve you well.
Doing something differently or changing parts of your routine, instantly takes you out of the norm and allows you to shake off the things that make you feel confined. Step out of your routine and you’ll be in a position where you’re able to make different choices, see things differently and get a different result.
2. Use your Intuition
Your intuition is a powerful ally, and we all have it even though you might not recognize it. The dictionary says that intuition is:
1.a. The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition.
1.b. Knowledge gained by the use of this faculty; a perceptive insight.
2. A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.
One of the best friends you’ll ever have in life is your intuition, and tuning into it and learning to trust it is something that can have some truly remarkable effects. Accessing your intuition is a bit like working and developing a muscle, but unfortunately, it can be harder to locate than a bicep or quadricep, which tend to stay in the same place. Here are some quick tips for accessing and trusting it –
• Practice maintaining an open-minded, playful, experimental, non-judgmental attitude. This is the most fertile ground to tap into your intuition.
• Practice making wild guesses in your everyday life. Guess what a salesperson’s name is, what a new person or place will look like or who’s calling on the phone. Don’t worry about getting it wrong, you’re just working that muscle.
• Try a few simple observation exercises in your daily life. Whether you’re in a restaurant, on a train, in a bar, or out shopping, practice noticing non-verbal behavior in others. Look for shifts in posture, eye movements, vocal tone or tempo, etc. Guess how they’re feeling or what they’re talking about.
I hope these tips help you in your personal growth Journey
I have been listening to the personal development program that I market as part of my business. – today was all about how we can make a difference in how we live and show up every day. The presenter shared the Starfish story and it’s a great illustration of making a difference in other people’s lives. We all have the power to inspire and make a difference.
An old man was doing his daily walk along the beach one morning, when he spotted a young boy crouched by the water, scooping something up from the sand and throwing it into the sea.
The beach was normally empty at this time of day, and so the old man stopped to watch for a while.
He noticed that the boy kept on shuffling a little further down the beach, then repeating this same action again and again – stopping, scooping, throwing, moving.
“What are you doing there, boy?” the old man asked, walking closer.
“I’m saving these starfish that are stranded” replied the boy, “if they stay on the beach they will dry out and die, so I’m putting them back into the ocean so they can live.”
The old man was silent for a few seconds.
“Young man” he said, “on this stretch of beach alone, there must be more than one hundred stranded starfish. Around the next corner, there must be at least one thousand more. This goes on for miles and miles and miles – I’ve done this walk every day for 10 years, and it’s always the same. There must be millions of stranded starfish! I hate to say it, but you’ll never make a difference.”
The boy replied “well I just made a difference for that one”, and continued with his work.
I have been spending time on my Personal Development / MIndest course. I spend some time yesterday learning all about the Mental Models that drive us through life – we do things without question. Our programming controls how we operate on a daily basis, without question, unless we decide to make a change in break patterns from the past.
I used to tell this story when I was in party plan – when I illustrated how we all learned to put on perfume. Dab on the wrist, behind the ears, etc. This actually bruises the scent – but it was done because, during the war times, it was scarce and it was away to make it go further. Our mothers watched their mothers, and so on. – exactly like the story below.
A young married couple was in their kitchen. The husband was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper while his wife was preparing a roast lamb for dinner.
The husband watched the wife cut off the shank. He asked why she cut the shank off, proclaiming “that’s the best part !” She said, “that’s what my mum always did.” The husband asked, “why did your mom do that?” The wife didn’t know.
Later, the wife called her mom to find out why she cut the shank on a roast lamb. Her mom said, “because that was what my mum always did..”
So the wife called her grandmother – and asked her – Grandma – why did you always cut off the lamb shank ?
Grandma’s reply – Dear – I did that so it would fit in the baking pan!!
Where are you running patterns from the past in your life ? Next time you do something with our question, stop and ask yourself – Why do I do this ?